Baguio

So I went on a long-premeditated trip to Baguio this weekend to do some self-reflection– a change of atmosphere from my usual Manila weekends spent either hanging out & drinking with friends, or just staying at home to a very colorful household. Contrary to what I told my parents, I made all the plans and travelled alone. I used my free nights in Microtel and packed two weeks’ worth of clothes since I wasn’t going home anymore before heading to my area on Monday.

Self-reflection you say? Doesn’t sound like me no? No one wanted to believe me either. The thought of doing it alone was scary but I just had to do it. Come on, this wasn’t really any different than traveling to Iloilo last year! Well, I felt like I needed to relax by myself, and what better place to do it than up north in Baguio, where as my friend Jay said, “it feels like being kissed by the sun on mint chapstick”. It was rainy and cold the whole time though except for today, but ah what perfect bed weather! I left Tarlac at 4PM on Friday and arrived in Baguio at 7PM. Jay, the CP sales assigned here in Baguio, picked me up at the hotel for dinner in O’Mai Khan, this Mongolian resto. We then went to his place to watch an MJ concert DVD while getting high and drunk. Wahaha, ok it was my first time to get high and it was very liberating! I felt dizzy as if I was floating, and it was better than being drunk since I didn’t have to puke it out. I was also drunk on Gilbey’s Premium Strength and gin tonic but the feeling of getting high took over– and we were so knocked out that I just slept on the couch! (Sayang my room in Microtel, haha)

On Saturday morning we had breakfast at 50’s Diner (where I saw the most ginormous clubhouse sandwich ever!), then headed back to our places to rest and relax. I finished Lipstick Jungle, went online a bit, and just lounged around in bed until 4PM to go to SM. My contact lenses popped out the night before (it was so cold at Jay’s place!) so I had to get new ones to take me through the week ahead. The rain was crazy, but the crowd in SM was crazier! It was so cold, and nothing beats eating churros con chocolate while watching the rain pour over the foggy view of Baguio. I then wandered around driving before I got back to Microtel to meet Jay for dinner. We ate at the pricey Le Chef in Manor, had beers at Red Lion Pub, then headed to Nevada Square to get more drunk. Haha. Nevada Square is the nightlife place, where there are about 5 bars/ clubs. Not bad at all, but the crowd was all young. Nabaduyan si Jay eh, he used to spin there daw. After having a few drinks in Acid Club, we went to another place to do videoke with his friends, then headed home.

Now’s my last day here and I feel a bit heavy hearted to go down. I wasn’t really able to go around the touristy places like Burnham Park or Mines View, but I’ve been there already before and I prefer relaxing and doing things as a local in a different place. I’ll just go to Good Shepherd to get some pasalubong stuff (chokoflakes!!!) after checking out, then I’m probably going around a bit before heading back to Tarlac. Maybe then it’s the best time to do the real self-reflection no?

Funny I was expecting to do things all alone this weekend, but I ended up doing the same things, just in a different place, atmosphere, and with different people. I don’t feel though as if I defeat the purpose of my trip– in fact, it was more successful than I imagined. I was able to relax by myself, but not too much to the point of getting suicidal, haha. I was able to get some closure about HB (more about that in a different post), I was able to feel good– the high and drunk way, I gained a new friend in Jay, and I was somehow inspired by him in that I wanna do things differently when I go back to my area. Jay was telling me he was already so comfortable here in Baguio that it would seem like an uprooting to get him out of this place. More than a CP salesman, there was more to him– he goes boxing, spins at bars, does some photography– and I feel like there has to be something else that defines me aside from my work. When he asked me if I had any hobbies, I couldn’t really identify anything, as if there was nothing more to me than my work. And to my other close friends in CP, I don’t like it that our friendship is defined by everything about HB. Now then, I’m inspired to find something else to myself that even if you take my work away, there’s still something I can be proud of about myself. I’m also inspired to maximize my area, though seriously there really is nothing fun to do in Bataan-Olongapo-Pampanga-Tarlac-Nueva Ecija-Pangasinan, especially when the whole time is spent doing store checks and admin work even in the evening!

When I woke up this morning, I felt the same feeling as I did everytime I was in Copenhagen, that everything was different and I was alone. I miss Manila a bit now, and I miss my friends, but this trip has done me more than I can think of. I’m 23 now and I’m not getting any younger, so the race is on to improve my life, and maybe it just had to take this trip for me to realize that. Being detached from the regular hustle and bustle puts things in a different perspective. I’m seriously beginning to realize the importance of saving for the future, doing all the things I want to do while I’m single, so I have no regrets. I feel like there’s still more that I can do in my life and I’m not using even half of my potential for anything yet. I’m starting that by being honest with myself and doing a self-inventory. I now have resolutions. This self-reflection trip was a success. :)

Highlights of 2008 (Long post)

 

1. Being assigned in Davao for 10 months for my third job rotation. I moved in January and moved back to Manila in November– this is where I spent majority of my year. I lived in my own small apartment, did the groceries and cooked for myself, and spent the weekends alone. I was out clubbing every Saturday night, seeing the same people in the same place. I learned to drink a whole lot of beer (especially if it’s ice cold) and resurrected my craving for chicharon bulaklak, yech! I took swimming lessons, caught up on the TV series I missed, and started going to the gym and dieting. Of course for the first half of my stay I spent most of the time preparing for the upcoming Module 4 exams. I didn’t really have a group of friends I hung out with but I met a couple of people I went out with from time to time. I actually got to explore the city more when I took my visitor friends around– John Rae, Cy, Angeli, Anna, Lotte, Bea, Mark, Edward, and Cathie.

   

  

Overall being in Davao was a great experience since the city was very safe, clean, and everything was near to each other. People were also very warm and accommodating. However living by myself and being alone most of the time magnified my feelings to the nth level! Haha. I was away from my family and friends, and had so much time to think and dwell on things I probably should not have dwelled upon. I’m glad to be back now– and I’m not ready to be away from everyone important to me yet again…

2. Travel. This year was probably the last I’m gonna travel as extensively as I did. Since I’m done with my MISE training and won’t have any more Modules in Europe (hence no more opportunities for Euro sidetrips), I don’t see myself travelling too far anytime soon. In February me and Angeli attended our friend Meryl’s wedding in Jakarta, spent the weekend with our fellow SEA MISEs touring around the city, and went to Bandung to go shopping at factory outlets!

   

In May I went to Copenhagen to attend Module 4, then took a graduation sidetrip with Jason, Sushil, Li’en, Kim, Zi and Meryl to Greece– Athens, Santorini, and Mykonos. Santorini was great, I could get married there! We drove around in a rent-a-car (I drove!), and the highlight was going up to this place called Oia to watch the sunset– apparently the best in the world– on my birthday… where they surprised me with a cake, flowers and gifts! We partied and spent time at the beach in Mykonos, Greece’s party island, for 2 days. Then I spent a night and met up with my Dutch MISE friends in Amsterdam, my favorite city– my third time there! 

   

  

For the latter part of the year I went local! :P I went to General Santos and Cotabato for business to attend meetings with our key clients. Well they were just a 3-hour drive away from Davao so maybe they’re not counted? :P In September I spent 4 days in Iloilo, and took a 3-hour per way roadtrip to Roxas. This December I finally went to Tagaytay again, after 5 years! I would have wanted to spend the last days of the year with Angeli in Ho Chi Minh (sorry dear!), but I figured I’d save the travel for ‘09.

   

3. Graduation from the MISE program. I finally graduated from the 2-year program! After 3 job rotations, 4 Modules, a whole lot of travel and meeting a big bunch of people from different cultures and nationalities, I got through! There were big bumps along the road– humbling ones, at that, but I got through them and I’m proud to say this is one of my major achievements. But I also went through… (read on to the next item)

 

4. A major career change. A month after getting back in Manila, being into my Process Excellence position at MCC and before pursuing expatriation for a MISE graduate, I decided to resign from the company and pursue a career in fast-moving consumer goods. Beginning January 5, I’ll be working as a Sales Trainee/ Account Manager for Colgate-Palmolive– new year, new job, new life! FMCG has always been the industry I wanted to be in, and now that my applications materialized, there’s no better time to grab the opportunity while I’m still young and haven’t stayed too long in the company to find it harder to leave. Ultimately I will want to be in Marketing, but Sales is a good springboard into getting more holistic experience– especially now that one foot’s already in. I also wanted to find an industry and a job I know I will be passionate about, something I know I will put my heart and soul into and push me to the limit. So there. I’ll be starting my new career in a few days ;)

And now on to the more dramatic things…

5. Goodbyes (and airports and airplanes). I’ve said more goodbyes this year than I ever have; I have a feeling I’m already numb to it. I said goodbye to my family and friends before I moved to Davao, to my MISE friends after Module 4, my close friends who left Maersk, my Davao family when I moved back to Manila, and to everyone I’ve worked with when I resigned this month.

  

 

But like I already said before, I really don’t like the feeling of goodbyes anymore. I’ve said many other tearful goodbyes this year, and most of them related to saying goodbye in airports– with me moping about them on lonely flights home! When I said my last major goodbye this year to the company I’ve been 2.5 years with and with colleagues who’ve seen me through my weight transitions (LOL!), I didn’t really feel anything. I felt that after all, real friends will keep in touch.

6. Rejection. Just like goodbyes, I’ve experienced more rejections this year than I have in my life! When I was having a career crisis towards the beginning of the year, applying to jobs in FMCG and not receiving any feedback– that was a lot. Unsuccessful applications for expat positions I was interested in also made up for more of those. The biggest one though was more related to feelings for someone, eeeeek! The gist: I felt things I’ve never felt, did things I never did before, and said things I never thought would come out of my mouth! Looking back I probably just overestimated. Well, expectation management probably got the best of me. And though things didn’t turn out the way I wanted them to, there’s no better thing to do but move on and start with a clean slate in ‘09. Nevertheless, I don’t have any regrets since it can all be charged to experience!

2008 was such a growing pains year for me. I’ve experienced all sorts of emotions– from being over the top happy, excited, kilig, to being devastated, sad, lonely, disappointed, depressed, and bitter. I’ve been through major successes and failures, realizing that I’m only human, I’m no island, and that once things hit rock bottom there’s no other way to go but up. I’ve learned so much about life, other people, and most of all about myself– how I am when I’m alone, when I’m sad, when I go through failure, and the lengths I’d go and the things I’d do. I’m sure that this is not yet the worst, but at least I experienced all this to prepare me for when that time comes– I just have to get through these things to make me stronger. I would say I didn’t like this year, but it’s probably the best one so far in terms of teaching me about life, being mature, and realizing that anything that happens will be the result of my deeds and decisions. I’m sure in 2009 I’ll see the fruits of my “hardships”. I can’t wait to start with a clean slate ;)

And moving on to more interesting things, here are some of my resolutions for 2009:

• Save save save! I didn’t get to save much due to all my travels and expenses, but I’d like to take this seriously in 2009. If 2007 and 2008 were spending years, 2009 will be my saving year.
• NO MORE OF THEM SHORTIES!!!
• Lose more weight… at least 10 more pounds before the year ends
• Take my work seriously
• Enjoy the single life– do all the clubbing, parties and drinking I want… I’ve only got 3 years before my ideal marrying age, hahaha!
• Meet as much people as possible and expand my network

I’m sure 2009 will rock. I will make it. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Last day

Yesterday was my last day at the office. It was the last time I was gonna walk the aisles, ride the elevators, and tap into the doors at One e-Com Center as a Maersk employee, as a MISE graduate, as an employee with a 2.5 year tenure. The next time, I’ll be walking through the doors as a visitor.

Somehow though it didn’t feel like my last day. Maybe the feeling of having to leave my “2nd home” for the past 2.5 years was overtaken by my excitement for the Christmas holidays. Or maybe I didn’t feel like I was leaving at all– since what, or rather, who was there to leave anyway? Most of my closest friends from the company have resigned and moved on before I did. Maybe the feeling of being back in the Manila office hasn’t really sunken in, after my 9 month stay in Davao. Or on a positive note, I didn’t feel like bidding a tearful goodbye since I know I’ll just be in touch anyway, and my real friends will always be my friends regardless of where we all work. 

In all fairness I gained new friends in MCC when I came back. It’s a good thing they were the people who were my age, with the same wavelength, and who shared the same interests as I did. If at all I felt a slight tinge of sadness that I won’t be around next year for the MOA lunches, group chats, and random laughs around our tables. I don’t wanna think anymore about what I’ll be missing though! But with the flurry of goodbyes and “keep in touch” last words that I’ve witnessed and said this year, the feeling doesn’t have the same effect on me anymore. Taking it positively, I’m a person to always keep in touch if we’re really friends. On a negative note, have I become numb to it?

I hope not. Maybe I just need 2009 to sink in– once the new year, new job, and new life sinks in, then I’ll feel that this is goodbye. Well not really since we’re all in the Philippines anyway, and at least on the same island (Luzon)! And hey, it’s not like I’m leaving for something bad– the reason why I left is that there’s something better.

Last night a lot of us ex (yes I’m one of them now!) and current Maersk people got together since Vince (a former colleague who’s now working in Singapore) is in town. There were actually more ex-Maersk people now! I’m glad I dropped by since I got to see them again and catch up– especially now that I’m part of the “resigned” club! It wasn’t my goodbye dinner/ drinking/ videoke yet, which I hope to celebrate either after Christmas or next year. It was another good times moment, and just goes to show that there are no excuses for NOT keeping in touch, even if you’re no longer with the company!!!

And so I therefore conclude that goodbyes to me are pointless. I won’t need to say goodbye to you if I know we’ll be in touch anyway :)– And I just hate that I said too many of them (both cheerful and tearful) this year. Ah, well. This post has been too gloomy, it’s Christmas! I should be in the festive mood!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Big medical spender and other drama

I spent Php 8,500 on medicines today at GNC that I had to get a Gold Card to avail of the 20% discount! Haha. It’s reimbursable anyway for my company’s Php 12,000 annual medical benefit that I haven’t used– and have to consume by the end of the year. Guess what I bought?

I sure hope this works!!! A bottle with 150 capsules cost Php 5,500! Crazy! Buti nalang it’s technically the company buying it for me. They say it really works though so let’s see! I go to the gym naman regularly and I try to keep a reduced healthy diet so hopefully I see some results soon… if not then at least I tried it :)

I also bought three bottles of Glutathione– one each for me, my mom, and my dad. It’s really an antioxidant dietary supplement but the side effect is skin whitening so it’s like hitting two birds with one stone!

I didn’t get exactly this one– the one I bought was actually stronger since it contained 250mg of glutathione. I have Php 3,500 to spend more, maybe I’ll get a new pair of glasses and another pair of contact lenses this time. When I transfer to Colgate I have Php 16,000 a year to spend so that would mean more Hydroxycut?! Haha. Joking!

In fairness I feel like I’ve lost some weight and I can already see it on my pictures, though I dunno if it’s just the angle? :P

 

Before– this was last July in Davao, and after– just last Friday, and that was already after I had a heavy lunch at Azul in MOA with Ian and Peter (yummy binagoongang paella, white cheese sticks, and ginataang pakbet!), Razon’s halo-halo, (Peter’s libre), and Krispy Kreme (John’s birthday treat) for dessert! Do you see the difference or is it just me? :P

In other news it feels so good to be back, I’m totally loving it! I love just being at home on weekends with my family around, with my friends conveniently near, and just being in Manila once again. Ask me again to come back to Davao and I’ll decline outright– this place is my home and nothing else will ever come close, despite the grueling traffic and the fact that I have to commute on weekdays! The office is right in front of Mall of Asia, and Fitness First is just downstairs that I don’t have to take a bath and dress up here at home since I shower there in the morning after gymming. The only thing I don’t like about MOA is that it’s difficult to commute especially late at night and I spend about Php 250-300 for a cab, crazy! It’s not stopping me from going out though, just last Friday I did videoke after work with Ian, Kristine and Acey. And last Friday was my last MISE get-together– well because I’ll be in Colgate by January, plus Mariel and Kaye will still be away in Denmark by the time my resignation is effective.

That’s all of us (Jade, Mariel, Ian, Me, and Kaye) with Martin, our HR Manager, at Via Mare last Friday. We had another round of stuffy, carby merienda before heading back to the office for some Friday beers at the pantry. Oh yeah, technically I’m no longer a MISE since I already graduated (gasp!) from the program but we won’t be this complete again, at least until my last day at work…

I love it that it’s a four day weekend for me– we’ve got no work on Tuesday since it’s Pasay Day, but I’ll be spending it to get an NBI clearance as a pre-employment requirement for Colgate. I’ll also be fixing the mess that is my room, I’ve still got the 2GO boxes scattered around plus my sister’s usual mess. Grrr! Anyway I had a good week and a good weekend too. Last night naman I was out with JC and Sunny– we had late, fatty chicharon and rice dinner at Baliwag then coffee at Kopiroti. I miss my best friends!!! Even if I’m not in Boracay (ehem, ehemmm!!!) this weekend, (and even without HB in my life right now) I’m loving it– I don’t even have the spare time to download all the top songs on iTunes as I did back in Davao!

Anyhoo I’m excited for Christmas :) Our office Christmas party is on December 12 and I’m glad I’ll be celebrating it here with all the young people at the office, haha. We’ve got these company presentations to look forward to and the theme this year is a chorale, so we have to do a chorale-style presentation of one 80’s song and one Christmas carol. My department is doing Head Over Heels by The Go-Go’s and Carol of the Bells, but we’re absolutely unprepared as of now while the other departments are really taking it seriously with all the organs and vocalizing pa talaga after work. And so Ian volunteered us to emcee the Christmas party to try to get out of the presentation since we don’t wanna be embarrassed to be part of a lousy presentation (of course we’re still not sure about that at this point)– but I don’t think it’s gonna work! We now have another duty to fulfill and that’s to emcee, grrr!!! But no worries though, I would have liked to emcee again after a successful one (also at the office Christmas party) back in 2006. At least it will be a fun last Christmas party for me…

And in other other news I have a new crush at the office! Hahaha! He’s cute and hot. Siyempre I can’t post the pic here but he’s really nice and we’re chummy chummy na. LOL. Things aren’t going so well with HB– actually there’s nothing going on since I haven’t heard from him in days but I’m actually thinking of him less so that’s good. Leche siya, che! Haha.

By now I realized this post was totally random! I just had too much to say :P Till the next one.

The announcement

 

I handed in my resignation yesterday. The letter was actually ready last Monday but I was just waiting for my medical exam results before I can formalize my resignation. Yesterday morning, HR informed me that my medical results are all ok and that I may now resign.

 

I decided not to prolong the agony and just do it in the afternoon– and so I did. I resigned first to our HR Manager, then to the Country Manager, then to my immediate boss. I was anticipating it was gonna be extremely difficult, but they were extremely understanding and supportive of me and what I wanted– I’m happy that this is gonna be a good parting. My letter’s pretty much self-explanatory anyway :) [I've just dropped the names in making this post]

 

As I will discuss with you personally, this is to officially tender my resignation effective Wednesday, December 24, 2008.

 

I have decided to pursue a line of work in the fast moving consumer goods industry, where I would like to build my career in Sales or Marketing. I believe that this new endeavor will put me on the right track to achieving my career goals and aspirations.

 

It has been very fruitful and enriching to have graduated from the program, and the past 2 years have given me so much experience and wisdom in more ways than one. However, I have realized and validated that my career interests, aspirations and goals are not in line with what the company can offer me currently and in the future—despite the breadth of both global and local opportunities that are available to a graduate.

 

I am very grateful for all the support and understanding you have given me, especially to keep me in the program. I find it difficult in writing to express my regret for not having gone through expatriation and repatriation, in return for the 2 years of training that I have received from the company. I am leaving only with gratitude for everything I have learned and experienced, and it is with optimism that I hope you understand my reasons for leaving.

 

 

New year, new job, new life! I find it heavy to be parting– this is my first job, and I’ve learned so so much over the past 2 years. All my closest office friends are gone but I’m gonna miss the young crowd here. Sayang din with all the training I went through– I could really make it big. However, we just have to move on in pursuit of what we want, especially while we’re young with all the room for idealism. I’m optimistic about 2009 and my new life to come :)

Pardon me and my drama

Playlist of the moment. Or maybe the most fitting. Waah!

1. Chasing Pavements – Adele

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements even if it leads nowhere?

2. Dig – Incubus

If I turn into another, dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me, sing this song, remind me that we’ll always have each other when everything else is gone.

3. Goodbye To You – Breaking Point

So I wanted you to know that I’ve finally let you go, after all I’ve held on to this is my goodbye to you. I was always there for you but you never saw the truth, and the reason that I know is that I’ve finally let you go.

4. That’s What You Get – Paramore

That’s what you get when you let your heart win, I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating, that’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.

5. Unsaid – The Fray

Suffice it to say we’re leaving things unsaid, we sing ourselves to sleep watching the day lie down instead, and we are leaving some things unsaid, and we are breathing deeper instead.

6. Can’t Let Go – Landon Pigg

I can’t let go, I can’t let go of you, you’re holding me back without even trying to. I can’t let go, I can’t move on from the past, without lifting a finger you’re holding me back.

7. Coffee And Cigarettes – Michelle Featherstone

But it’s true, now I finally know what to do, I must quit, I must quit, you.

———-

Ok that’s really too much drama but pardon me for it. I’ve lost 2 bets today, both with the same restriction– not to get in touch with the person I choose to call “HB” (for “Hapee Boy”), until he does so first. And believe it or not we actually didn’t speak for 3 whole weeks!!! It was hard during the first few but eventually I learned to get used to not speaking to him. Anyway I broke it yesterday evening when I called HB to ask a question but he didn’t pick up. This morning he texted me saying he was in the province and that he was gonna call me in the afternoon. Hey, he really did call and I asked him what I wanted to ask, which was about his job– which is the same position I’m applying for by the way– and according to him I’m 90% there (fingers crossed!)!!! I guess both my friends Ian and Bea get free lunches! Grrrrr! And about the job, well I hope things turn out well… :)

Words of wisdom from Bob Ong

Reposted from Andy’s Facebook note.

1. “Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka niya.”

2. “Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba.”

3. “Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang.”

4. “Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na.”

5. “Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin.”

6. “Kung maghihintay ka ng lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo… Dapat lumandi ka din.”

7. “Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang.”

8. “Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa.”

9. “Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka… Kaya quits lang.”

10. “Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una.”

11. “Hindi porke’t madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa.”

12. “Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totoong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka.”

13. “Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority.”

14. “Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili niya.”

15. “Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo.”

16. “Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala.”

17. “Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan.”

18. “Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lang yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!”

19. “Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sa iyo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo.”

20. “Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sa iyo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo.”

21. “Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal… nakakatakot mahulog… at kapag nahulog ka, it’s either by accident or talagang tanga ka.”

In Davao, I didn’t… (Part 2 of many)

So here goes Part 2 of my tribute to the place I called home for about 9 months. I’ve only got 2 more weeks to go starting Monday– and though I’m excited to go back home to be with my family and friends again, I will definitely miss this place which taught me more than I expected. It made 2008 a “growing pains” year for me– but after all that I went through, I’d like to think that things can only get better right? I can’t wait to start 2009 with a bang, and hopefully with all of my questions answered.

Anyway during the later part of my stay here I made a list of things I wanted to do or try out since I had a lot of time on my hands. About half of those on the list didn’t happen :(, but doesn’t mean I didn’t have a blast. I had my “satellite” family in my boss Bong and my other officemates. Bong was like my second mom– she’d pick me up on the way to the office, and after work we’d go to the gym together and she’d take me home. We went out a lot too and she introduced me to a lot of her friends. I would have been lonelier if I didn’t hang out with my family here even if once in a while, aside from my friends and family back home, they helped keep me sane at least. Anyhoo here are the things I listed on my must-do list but wasn’t able to accomplish. Here goes.

In Davao, I didn’t…

… try out some things I said I would. White water rafting (I know, I know, how could I???), diving, and the long-planned DJ lessons. I’m quite scared of the rapids so I haven’t tried the rafting… as for diving, my friend Andy invited me to go one Sunday but I was too lazy, and now he’s too busy! And as for the DJ lessons, when I realized I was finally free to do them weeks ago, I didn’t have much time! If you enroll in these lessons you can use the studio for a month, and I just don’t have a month left here in Davao to get the most of my money’s worth. Plus, I had more “important” priorities such as going to the gym for the past months :P, and in my early months here I had to focus on my studies. Oh well, in Manila nalang when I get back, but it’s something I will still definitely try! :)

… have an out of office group. As I mentioned earlier, I was more or less limited to the people at the office, even if almost all of them had families already and Friday was the only good day to go out– and worse, only when someone made libre or picked up the tab and pegged it as “client entertainment”. Hah. I was thinking of joining a church choir to meet people but I just never got around to doing it. I met some people but I really wouldn’t know how to form a group out of them. Plus, not having a car is totally paralyzing since I felt like I wasn’t mobile– I had to plan where I went every weekend so I don’t have to strut back and forth in a cab. I used to go out with my friend Rex a lot, but aside from that the only times I truly went out with people my age were when they went to visit me here (John Rae, Cy, Mark, Angeli, Charlotte, Anna, Bea). I guess I could have done better in this aspect though…

… kiss a boy, get a boyfriend, have sex. LOL that was too straightforward. I remember on my familiarization trip before moving to Davao, the cab drivers told me I was probably gonna meet my future husband here. One of the older MISEs assigned here before me met her husband here too. But well, I didn’t. I didn’t even get to kiss a boy, what more have a boyfriend and have sex! Haha. Guys at the office were either married with kids or gay. I met a lot of people in the club and through other friends, but I didn’t really find anyone worth pursuing, or maybe I just didn’t put myself out there too much. (And in connection to this I have a comment I will reserve for Part 3.) Yes, the truth is that I was too preoccupied with someone in Manila that I didn’t really put much effort into expanding my network and going all adventurous. People might say I’d regret not doing so but I personally, I don’t think I wasted my time. Not to say that it was all worth it, but what I went through with that is something for the books. Hehe.

… do other basic things. Get an enema, donate blood, go to the ob gyne. Is it believable that I wanted to get an enema for detox? :) It’s true. Just never got around to doing it. Or finding the time to.

… get to save money. ‘Nuff said. Being alone for 2 whole days during weekends, being 10 minutes away from Gaisano Mall, and suddenly having this vain trip has taken its toll on my pocket. Ouch! Even if my daily expenses here aren’t that much, I make up for the saving by spending big during the weekends. Of course I also have other financial obligations and so I’m in no condition to say I’m rich right now. Haha. Well I’m just having the time of my life! (And soon, I’ll be doing it back home!!!)

Most of these things I will still definitely do soon. It’s just that I didn’t get to do them here. Oh, I can’t wait to see my family and friends again. And now that I have a fresher perspective of appreciating Manila from being away for quite long, I won’t waste any time… :)

(Part 3 to follow!)

In Davao, I… (Part 1 of many)

As I oh so gleefully announced last time, I’m coming back home to Manila!!! I’ll still be working in the same company, but this time for the domestic business– doing projects in Customer Service. I didn’t really like Customer Service when I was there for my second job rotation, but this time is much better since I will be heading projects in preparation for a big business move in January. Short of saying it won’t be a clerical position, so yay! And while I’m still looking for a nice expat job (or who knows, another job!) then what better way to spend it than to gain experience in another business unit, while being back in my home base that is Manila right? :)

Anyway now that I’m counting 3 weeks (19 days to be exact) before I move back to Manila after my 9-month assignment here in Davao, I wanna write some sort of list of what I’ve done and went through. In fairness, I have learned much much much more about life, myself, and people while I was here, compared to what I learned during my first year of working back in Manila. Being alone truly changes you and makes you know yourself better. At the same time boredom will make you try different things! I’ll be writing this in parts since I’m sure it will be quite long, but for this entry I’ll be mentioning the “more shallow” ones. So here goes.

In Davao, I…

… learned to love (ice cold) beer. When you say “ice cold” it really is cold that if you scrape the ice off the bottle and drop it into the beer it freezes! (Cy taught me this trick.) I absolutely loved it that I was out drinking at least twice a week during the first few months. Now I don’t wanna drink beer if it isn’t ice cold. The best place? Jickong’s. And in relation to drinking…

… learned how to smoke. Not good too if you ask my other friends. Haha. I’ve tried it back in college with my brother, but that was only once or twice. Now when I drink or go clubbing here in Davao, I have at least one stick. It’s just social smoking though so nothing really destructive… the only destructive one was weeks ago when I had 5 sticks in a night coz I was tense! Yikes. As long as my teeth don’t go yellow, I don’t stink, and I don’t get pimples from it then I guess it’s fine. 

… took swimming lessons. About time I did! There was a 5-day long weekend one week and so I decided to enroll in swimming lessons. My instructor was a 20-year old Muslim guy who I bombarded with Islam-related cultural and religious questions. Haha. Aside from learning how to swim (and finally get over my fear of deep water) I learned a lot from Vasit too. Well, add to that a stubborn tankini tan that I’m trying hard to get rid of! At least I can now swim without fear of drowning if I’m led to the deep parts of the water!

… had almost everything waxed and/or threaded. OUCH! Eyebrows, upper lip, and the most dreaded brazilian wax. Well it’s painful indeed but it’s worth it because you feel so clean after. The worst part for me though isn’t the brazilian waxing itself but the time when the hair down there initially grows– it can get DAMN ITCHY, believe me, I was spanking it just to avoid scratching it!– Ok too much details!

… stuck to a diet and gym plan. Yay for that! I’m still sticking to it now. Apple cider vinegar an hour after every meal, only half a cup of rice a day, and at least 3 hours of cardio a week. Sometimes I violated but those were totally unintentional and isolated circumstances so they’re not counted, heehee! And hey, the plans are working. I guess it helps that I’m alone and I don’t have anyone else to eat with for dinner and on weekends. And I’d rather not eat than have people see me eat alone, so… :P

… learned how to pamper and reward myself. I go to the gym at least thrice a week, then step into the sauna or have a dip in the jacuzzi if I feel tired. I had regular pedicures, whole body massages, and of course not to underestimate the retail therapy I did every week! Ok that’s not good on my pocket, but if you’ve got nothing to do and nowhere else to go to on the weekends then I guess the mall is the best place! And I just always ended up buying something. :S

… consistently heard mass every Sunday– out of my own will! I must admit that when I always went with my family to mass back in Manila, it was just out of compliance– but in fairness I have learned to hear mass every Sunday here. It’s quite sad though that something big and unfortunate had to happen (I was at the lowest point in my life!) for me to become closer to God, but it’s all good now. Because I’m also working on my faith, I’m now able to sleep alone in my room, whereas I was more duwag back in Manila! (Not that I have a choice here, do I?)

… experienced living alone for the first time. This may not be anything new or special to others, but it was a new experience for me since I’ve never lived away from my family for more than a month. I was away for about 3 weeks when I’d attend my modules in Copenhagen and travel for a week, but I was with friends anyway so it’s not counted. This time, I had to cook by myself, wash my underwear, go grocery shopping, do some budgeting and allotment of expenses and groceries, and experience weekends by myself– whether it be hearing mass and killing time at the mall. Believe me, it can get lonely, and I sure missed my family and friends a lot, but sometimes you also get some time to stop and think about different things– depends on what you’re thinking of if it’s good or bad! :P

… maxed out my nightlife. Davao’s probably not the best place for a clubbing nightlife since there are only a few dance clubs here (Urban Club, Autoshop, 183, Halo– or that I know of), but during my first few months here I was out EVERY Saturday night, no fail. My “life” would officially start at 12mn, then I’d always meet up with my friend Rex and possibly some other people at Urban Club, then we’d go home at 4am! That was fun. I eventually got tired of it since it’s the same people and music every week… but that’s why I’m looking forward to Manila since there’s so many different places to choose from! :)

Guess those make the list for the more shallow ones! What I can say is that I’ve definitely learned to live independently while I was here in Davao. Of course you’ve got no choice but to fend for yourself– you can’t eat if you won’t cook or buy anything, and you won’t have underwear to put on unless you wash the dirty ones (unless you only keep buying!), so that broke my “spoiled” (or so my parents say) life in Manila. Eventually if I go expatriate or have a family I’ll also be doing things by myself, and later on, for my future children, so it’s good to have learned it now. And there’s a first time for everything right? :)

(Part 2 to follow soon!)

Baboosh

Goodbye To You – Breaking Point

There’s so much I want to say now but it’s too late I know
There’s no way to heal these wounds now and my heart bleeds for you

And our love is crashing like a tidal wave coming over me

So I wanted you to know that I finally let you go
After all I’ve held on to this is my goodbye to you
I was always there for you but you never saw the truth
And the reason that I know is I’ve finally let you go

Yesterday you were my best friend but tomorrow took you away
There’s not much for me to say now, just goodbye, farewell

And our love is crashing like a tidal wave coming over me

And every time I close my eyes my heart is bleeding deep inside
But now my eyes are open and I’m never gonna be the one for you
The one for you

I finally let you go, let you go, let you go
So this is my goodbye to you