I Just Can’t Stop Loving You – Michael Jackson
James Ingram & Gloria Estefan, MJ 30th Anniversary Tribute Concert
Michael Jackson & Sheryl Crow, Tokyo 1987
This last one is for the books though, during his Live In Bucharest concert.
Michael Jackson & Siedah Garrett, Bucharest 1992
Hey he ain’t called the King of Pop for nothing!
I stumbled upon this article on ClickTheCity.com before about a product called Illusion Lens– a keychain contraption you can stick to your camera/ mobile phone lens to give you different photography effects. There are about 6 kinds, but I bought the one with the Starburst effect at Hobbes & Landes Trinoma last week for Php200. Cheap lang no? For someone who’s not really willing to spend much on lomo, fisheye cameras and what-nots, this is not bad! Here are photos I took of my high school barkada when we went out last week:
I haven’t really explored with other shots but this is a cheaper alternative to buying the actual cameras :)
I finally got it. I talked to HB last week and told him everything. I won’t elaborate on that conversation, but I’ll just post the “after-texts”:
Me: HB, what I feel now is of course I still wanna be friends and I don’t wanna lose you. You mean a lot and I miss you. But even if you said let’s work it out, give it another try, it looks like you already let our friendship go. What strongly stuck to me was even if I’m one of your closest friends, you were willing to give that up for a clean slate in CP– you already did eh. And honestly I can’t believe it’s you talking– or maybe I didn’t know you that well after all. I’m hurt about that more than anything we cleared up the other day. I just wish you’d have valued our friendship more than what people will think or say– how much could that affect your work, and when was I ever the hardest person to talk to? I feel paranoid na you might think this is Rachelle happening all over again, but I think I deserve better treatment ah. I guess it’s hard to identify where we go from here. Kita mo naman na despite everything, when we talked last time it’s hard not to be friends and catch up. But I just wanted to let you know how I feel about what you said, I don’t wanna feel bitter someday na I wasn’t able to tell you. Yun lang. Likewise, tell me lang if you have things on your mind.
HB: Yncs, it took a long time lang for me to reply kasi I wanted to do it when I’m not swamped with work. Pero I already said how I feel and where I want to go after everything has happened. I don’t want to complicate but I’m sure that I want our old relationship to go back, cool and steady ba. I can’t count the days it has stopped but I can remember the stories/ problems I missed telling you. Anyway, hope you’re fine there and have a great weekend.
My thoughts on this are actually a bit scattered right now. For one, I didn’t get any kind of apology for anything. Second, as Paul said– “sounds like a playa to me!” We’ll see, I’ll just go with the flow. Hey I just came from Baguio I’m in a good mood right now! No bad vibes!
So I went on a long-premeditated trip to Baguio this weekend to do some self-reflection– a change of atmosphere from my usual Manila weekends spent either hanging out & drinking with friends, or just staying at home to a very colorful household. Contrary to what I told my parents, I made all the plans and travelled alone. I used my free nights in Microtel and packed two weeks’ worth of clothes since I wasn’t going home anymore before heading to my area on Monday.
Self-reflection you say? Doesn’t sound like me no? No one wanted to believe me either. The thought of doing it alone was scary but I just had to do it. Come on, this wasn’t really any different than traveling to Iloilo last year! Well, I felt like I needed to relax by myself, and what better place to do it than up north in Baguio, where as my friend Jay said, “it feels like being kissed by the sun on mint chapstick”. It was rainy and cold the whole time though except for today, but ah what perfect bed weather! I left Tarlac at 4PM on Friday and arrived in Baguio at 7PM. Jay, the CP sales assigned here in Baguio, picked me up at the hotel for dinner in O’Mai Khan, this Mongolian resto. We then went to his place to watch an MJ concert DVD while getting high and drunk. Wahaha, ok it was my first time to get high and it was very liberating! I felt dizzy as if I was floating, and it was better than being drunk since I didn’t have to puke it out. I was also drunk on Gilbey’s Premium Strength and gin tonic but the feeling of getting high took over– and we were so knocked out that I just slept on the couch! (Sayang my room in Microtel, haha)
On Saturday morning we had breakfast at 50’s Diner (where I saw the most ginormous clubhouse sandwich ever!), then headed back to our places to rest and relax. I finished Lipstick Jungle, went online a bit, and just lounged around in bed until 4PM to go to SM. My contact lenses popped out the night before (it was so cold at Jay’s place!) so I had to get new ones to take me through the week ahead. The rain was crazy, but the crowd in SM was crazier! It was so cold, and nothing beats eating churros con chocolate while watching the rain pour over the foggy view of Baguio. I then wandered around driving before I got back to Microtel to meet Jay for dinner. We ate at the pricey Le Chef in Manor, had beers at Red Lion Pub, then headed to Nevada Square to get more drunk. Haha. Nevada Square is the nightlife place, where there are about 5 bars/ clubs. Not bad at all, but the crowd was all young. Nabaduyan si Jay eh, he used to spin there daw. After having a few drinks in Acid Club, we went to another place to do videoke with his friends, then headed home.
Now’s my last day here and I feel a bit heavy hearted to go down. I wasn’t really able to go around the touristy places like Burnham Park or Mines View, but I’ve been there already before and I prefer relaxing and doing things as a local in a different place. I’ll just go to Good Shepherd to get some pasalubong stuff (chokoflakes!!!) after checking out, then I’m probably going around a bit before heading back to Tarlac. Maybe then it’s the best time to do the real self-reflection no?
Funny I was expecting to do things all alone this weekend, but I ended up doing the same things, just in a different place, atmosphere, and with different people. I don’t feel though as if I defeat the purpose of my trip– in fact, it was more successful than I imagined. I was able to relax by myself, but not too much to the point of getting suicidal, haha. I was able to get some closure about HB (more about that in a different post), I was able to feel good– the high and drunk way, I gained a new friend in Jay, and I was somehow inspired by him in that I wanna do things differently when I go back to my area. Jay was telling me he was already so comfortable here in Baguio that it would seem like an uprooting to get him out of this place. More than a CP salesman, there was more to him– he goes boxing, spins at bars, does some photography– and I feel like there has to be something else that defines me aside from my work. When he asked me if I had any hobbies, I couldn’t really identify anything, as if there was nothing more to me than my work. And to my other close friends in CP, I don’t like it that our friendship is defined by everything about HB. Now then, I’m inspired to find something else to myself that even if you take my work away, there’s still something I can be proud of about myself. I’m also inspired to maximize my area, though seriously there really is nothing fun to do in Bataan-Olongapo-Pampanga-Tarlac-Nueva Ecija-Pangasinan, especially when the whole time is spent doing store checks and admin work even in the evening!
When I woke up this morning, I felt the same feeling as I did everytime I was in Copenhagen, that everything was different and I was alone. I miss Manila a bit now, and I miss my friends, but this trip has done me more than I can think of. I’m 23 now and I’m not getting any younger, so the race is on to improve my life, and maybe it just had to take this trip for me to realize that. Being detached from the regular hustle and bustle puts things in a different perspective. I’m seriously beginning to realize the importance of saving for the future, doing all the things I want to do while I’m single, so I have no regrets. I feel like there’s still more that I can do in my life and I’m not using even half of my potential for anything yet. I’m starting that by being honest with myself and doing a self-inventory. I now have resolutions. This self-reflection trip was a success. :)
Finally, that month was over! It started off with a great birthday party and ended with a good week– where I hit my goal! Yay! :) A lot of pressure and work but it all paid off anyway…
There were bumps along the road (and I haven’t faced them yet), but generally June was better than May I think. Wow, can’t believe half of the year’s already over!
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