My thoughts you can’t decode

I’m not posting this because we’re in the middle of the Twilight craze, but rather because after the stunt you pulled last night– HAPEE BOY, YOU’RE NOT WORTH IT.

Paramore – Decode (from the Twilight OST)

How can I decide what’s right when you’re clouding up my mind?
I can’t win your losing fight all the time

Not gonna ever own what’s mine when you’re always taking sides
But you won’t take away my pride
No, not this time, not this time

How did we get here when I used to know you so well?
But how did we get here? Well, I think I know

The truth is hiding in your eyes and it’s hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood
But you think that I can’t see what kind of man that you are,
If you’re a man at all
Well, I will figure this one out on my own
(I’m screaming, “I love you so.”)
On my own.
(My thoughts you can’t decode)

How did we get here when I used to know you so well?
But how did we get here? Well, I think I know

Do you see what we’ve done?
We’ve gone and made such fools of ourselves
Do you see what we’ve done?
We’ve gone and made such fools of ourselves

How did we get here when I used to know you so well, yeah, yeah
How did we get here? Well, I used to know you so well
I think I know, I think I know

There is something I see in you
It might kill me, I want it to be true

Highlights of 2008 (Long post)

 

1. Being assigned in Davao for 10 months for my third job rotation. I moved in January and moved back to Manila in November– this is where I spent majority of my year. I lived in my own small apartment, did the groceries and cooked for myself, and spent the weekends alone. I was out clubbing every Saturday night, seeing the same people in the same place. I learned to drink a whole lot of beer (especially if it’s ice cold) and resurrected my craving for chicharon bulaklak, yech! I took swimming lessons, caught up on the TV series I missed, and started going to the gym and dieting. Of course for the first half of my stay I spent most of the time preparing for the upcoming Module 4 exams. I didn’t really have a group of friends I hung out with but I met a couple of people I went out with from time to time. I actually got to explore the city more when I took my visitor friends around– John Rae, Cy, Angeli, Anna, Lotte, Bea, Mark, Edward, and Cathie.

   

  

Overall being in Davao was a great experience since the city was very safe, clean, and everything was near to each other. People were also very warm and accommodating. However living by myself and being alone most of the time magnified my feelings to the nth level! Haha. I was away from my family and friends, and had so much time to think and dwell on things I probably should not have dwelled upon. I’m glad to be back now– and I’m not ready to be away from everyone important to me yet again…

2. Travel. This year was probably the last I’m gonna travel as extensively as I did. Since I’m done with my MISE training and won’t have any more Modules in Europe (hence no more opportunities for Euro sidetrips), I don’t see myself travelling too far anytime soon. In February me and Angeli attended our friend Meryl’s wedding in Jakarta, spent the weekend with our fellow SEA MISEs touring around the city, and went to Bandung to go shopping at factory outlets!

   

In May I went to Copenhagen to attend Module 4, then took a graduation sidetrip with Jason, Sushil, Li’en, Kim, Zi and Meryl to Greece– Athens, Santorini, and Mykonos. Santorini was great, I could get married there! We drove around in a rent-a-car (I drove!), and the highlight was going up to this place called Oia to watch the sunset– apparently the best in the world– on my birthday… where they surprised me with a cake, flowers and gifts! We partied and spent time at the beach in Mykonos, Greece’s party island, for 2 days. Then I spent a night and met up with my Dutch MISE friends in Amsterdam, my favorite city– my third time there! 

   

  

For the latter part of the year I went local! :P I went to General Santos and Cotabato for business to attend meetings with our key clients. Well they were just a 3-hour drive away from Davao so maybe they’re not counted? :P In September I spent 4 days in Iloilo, and took a 3-hour per way roadtrip to Roxas. This December I finally went to Tagaytay again, after 5 years! I would have wanted to spend the last days of the year with Angeli in Ho Chi Minh (sorry dear!), but I figured I’d save the travel for ‘09.

   

3. Graduation from the MISE program. I finally graduated from the 2-year program! After 3 job rotations, 4 Modules, a whole lot of travel and meeting a big bunch of people from different cultures and nationalities, I got through! There were big bumps along the road– humbling ones, at that, but I got through them and I’m proud to say this is one of my major achievements. But I also went through… (read on to the next item)

 

4. A major career change. A month after getting back in Manila, being into my Process Excellence position at MCC and before pursuing expatriation for a MISE graduate, I decided to resign from the company and pursue a career in fast-moving consumer goods. Beginning January 5, I’ll be working as a Sales Trainee/ Account Manager for Colgate-Palmolive– new year, new job, new life! FMCG has always been the industry I wanted to be in, and now that my applications materialized, there’s no better time to grab the opportunity while I’m still young and haven’t stayed too long in the company to find it harder to leave. Ultimately I will want to be in Marketing, but Sales is a good springboard into getting more holistic experience– especially now that one foot’s already in. I also wanted to find an industry and a job I know I will be passionate about, something I know I will put my heart and soul into and push me to the limit. So there. I’ll be starting my new career in a few days ;)

And now on to the more dramatic things…

5. Goodbyes (and airports and airplanes). I’ve said more goodbyes this year than I ever have; I have a feeling I’m already numb to it. I said goodbye to my family and friends before I moved to Davao, to my MISE friends after Module 4, my close friends who left Maersk, my Davao family when I moved back to Manila, and to everyone I’ve worked with when I resigned this month.

  

 

But like I already said before, I really don’t like the feeling of goodbyes anymore. I’ve said many other tearful goodbyes this year, and most of them related to saying goodbye in airports– with me moping about them on lonely flights home! When I said my last major goodbye this year to the company I’ve been 2.5 years with and with colleagues who’ve seen me through my weight transitions (LOL!), I didn’t really feel anything. I felt that after all, real friends will keep in touch.

6. Rejection. Just like goodbyes, I’ve experienced more rejections this year than I have in my life! When I was having a career crisis towards the beginning of the year, applying to jobs in FMCG and not receiving any feedback– that was a lot. Unsuccessful applications for expat positions I was interested in also made up for more of those. The biggest one though was more related to feelings for someone, eeeeek! The gist: I felt things I’ve never felt, did things I never did before, and said things I never thought would come out of my mouth! Looking back I probably just overestimated. Well, expectation management probably got the best of me. And though things didn’t turn out the way I wanted them to, there’s no better thing to do but move on and start with a clean slate in ‘09. Nevertheless, I don’t have any regrets since it can all be charged to experience!

2008 was such a growing pains year for me. I’ve experienced all sorts of emotions– from being over the top happy, excited, kilig, to being devastated, sad, lonely, disappointed, depressed, and bitter. I’ve been through major successes and failures, realizing that I’m only human, I’m no island, and that once things hit rock bottom there’s no other way to go but up. I’ve learned so much about life, other people, and most of all about myself– how I am when I’m alone, when I’m sad, when I go through failure, and the lengths I’d go and the things I’d do. I’m sure that this is not yet the worst, but at least I experienced all this to prepare me for when that time comes– I just have to get through these things to make me stronger. I would say I didn’t like this year, but it’s probably the best one so far in terms of teaching me about life, being mature, and realizing that anything that happens will be the result of my deeds and decisions. I’m sure in 2009 I’ll see the fruits of my “hardships”. I can’t wait to start with a clean slate ;)

And moving on to more interesting things, here are some of my resolutions for 2009:

• Save save save! I didn’t get to save much due to all my travels and expenses, but I’d like to take this seriously in 2009. If 2007 and 2008 were spending years, 2009 will be my saving year.
• NO MORE OF THEM SHORTIES!!!
• Lose more weight… at least 10 more pounds before the year ends
• Take my work seriously
• Enjoy the single life– do all the clubbing, parties and drinking I want… I’ve only got 3 years before my ideal marrying age, hahaha!
• Meet as much people as possible and expand my network

I’m sure 2009 will rock. I will make it. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Last day

Yesterday was my last day at the office. It was the last time I was gonna walk the aisles, ride the elevators, and tap into the doors at One e-Com Center as a Maersk employee, as a MISE graduate, as an employee with a 2.5 year tenure. The next time, I’ll be walking through the doors as a visitor.

Somehow though it didn’t feel like my last day. Maybe the feeling of having to leave my “2nd home” for the past 2.5 years was overtaken by my excitement for the Christmas holidays. Or maybe I didn’t feel like I was leaving at all– since what, or rather, who was there to leave anyway? Most of my closest friends from the company have resigned and moved on before I did. Maybe the feeling of being back in the Manila office hasn’t really sunken in, after my 9 month stay in Davao. Or on a positive note, I didn’t feel like bidding a tearful goodbye since I know I’ll just be in touch anyway, and my real friends will always be my friends regardless of where we all work. 

In all fairness I gained new friends in MCC when I came back. It’s a good thing they were the people who were my age, with the same wavelength, and who shared the same interests as I did. If at all I felt a slight tinge of sadness that I won’t be around next year for the MOA lunches, group chats, and random laughs around our tables. I don’t wanna think anymore about what I’ll be missing though! But with the flurry of goodbyes and “keep in touch” last words that I’ve witnessed and said this year, the feeling doesn’t have the same effect on me anymore. Taking it positively, I’m a person to always keep in touch if we’re really friends. On a negative note, have I become numb to it?

I hope not. Maybe I just need 2009 to sink in– once the new year, new job, and new life sinks in, then I’ll feel that this is goodbye. Well not really since we’re all in the Philippines anyway, and at least on the same island (Luzon)! And hey, it’s not like I’m leaving for something bad– the reason why I left is that there’s something better.

Last night a lot of us ex (yes I’m one of them now!) and current Maersk people got together since Vince (a former colleague who’s now working in Singapore) is in town. There were actually more ex-Maersk people now! I’m glad I dropped by since I got to see them again and catch up– especially now that I’m part of the “resigned” club! It wasn’t my goodbye dinner/ drinking/ videoke yet, which I hope to celebrate either after Christmas or next year. It was another good times moment, and just goes to show that there are no excuses for NOT keeping in touch, even if you’re no longer with the company!!!

And so I therefore conclude that goodbyes to me are pointless. I won’t need to say goodbye to you if I know we’ll be in touch anyway :)– And I just hate that I said too many of them (both cheerful and tearful) this year. Ah, well. This post has been too gloomy, it’s Christmas! I should be in the festive mood!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

I got these books for Christmas!

He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

Kokology 2: More of the Game of Self-Discovery

Finally! I’ve been trying for the longest time to get a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You after Bea recommended it for me during the peak of my Hapee Boy pining days. Haha. I couldn’t find a copy everywhere I looked (even in Davao)– and guess where I was able to find one?! In SM Muntinlupa!!! I went there earlier today to get my haircut at Ricky Reyes since my stylist was transferred to that branch. While waiting for my turn, I decided to check National Bookstore if they had a copy and they did! And so I bought it. I’ve only read the first chapter so far and all I can say is, my god I was such a crazy woman making all these excuses before!!! What the hell was I thinking?!?! I won’t be OC this time and I will write notes and highlight all I want on the book… just to remind me of why I bought the book and had to read it in the first place!

I got the Kokology 2 book last Friday from an exchange gift at the office. We each wrote what we wanted to receive on a wishlist and I wrote down two things– this book, or pirated DVDs of Ugly Betty. The entire department wasn’t present when we had the gift exchange in Attica (A-Venue), but my Santa (Marco) had them give it to me. I was so happy I got the book! Well it’s not like it was out of stock and I didn’t have enough money to get it, it’s just that I didn’t want to buy it since I still have a lot of books to read here at home. I’m just happy that I got the gift on my wishlist :)

In other news I had a total pampering/ beautifying today. I had my haircut, as I already mentioned earlier, early this afternoon. I feel like my hair’s grown to an ugly style since November and so I wanted a new look for Christmas. I’ll be seeing most of my relatives for the first time since I left for Davao so at least I want them to see a good looking me! I also had my eyebrows and upper lip threaded, and the dreaded brazilian wax, waaaaaaah! Please remind me that it’s painful!!! Anyway it’s all worth it naman since it feels really clean down there. As to the threading… better not to have my eyebrows growing all over the place, and a tiny moustache on my face! LOL how vain! Angeli was joking that I was doing all of this for my crush at the office. Hahaha NOT!!! Of course not! It’s about inner confidence naman!

It’s my last 2 days at the office tomorrow. :( Sad, sad! I’ll be meeting up with Tetet, my friend from the Davao office, who’s in Manila for the holidays with her family. Tomorrow after work I’ll be availing of my spa GC’s at Wensha Spa– my door prize from the Christmas Party. And it will be my last time to see my crush! Waaaaaah!!! (We’re super textmates now by the way, at least!) But I can’t wait for Christmas– I need a lot of time to rest before I start working again!

An MCC Christmas

If only I still liked my job and wanted to pursue my shipping career, I’d definitely stay. I just LOVE my office crowd now. Kung kelan naman ako paalis eh, saka pa that I met them and we all clicked! Someone told me before I got back to Manila that I wasn’t really gonna jibe with the MCC crowd. True enough I didn’t jibe with ALL of them but some of us actually did get along, enough to hang out as friends. :) We had our MCC Christmas Party last night–dinner at Oki-Oki in A Venue, drinks at Attica, and videoke at Platinum until 3am!!! After all the “let’s donate 30% of the winnings to charity” drama (which I oh so strongly opposed), not everyone was there but at least it’s the people that mattered ;)

TJ, Acey, Naresh, Marc, Me, Ian, Jeaf, Archie, Kristine, Carlo, Nasseir

The food at Oki Oki was great! I wasn’t able to appreciate it that much since I had colds, but I could taste it a bit nevertheless. I love their crazy (fried) maki. We had drinks at Attica after, and of course I taught everyone my staple drinking game (learned it from my friends in Shanghai!)– where you’d have to burn the tissue with a cigarette without dropping the coin inside the glass:

Nasseir dropped the 10 centavo coin during the first round, and I dropped the 5 peso coin during the second round– bottoms up lang naman! Haha. I love this game I play it everytime I go drinking! Anyway after drinks we finally got our room at Platinum KTV in Jupiter, after waiting for 2 hours! All the places were just jam-packed. We tried to go to Top Grill first but it was reserved and so we had to find other places and have dinner first while waiting. Buti nalang Top Grill was full because I loved our choice of places for the night. I wouldn’t have had it any other way!

Jeaf, Me, TJ, Acey, Ian, Alvin, Kristine, Archie

My voice is soooo husky now from the sing-off. I had sore throat, cough and colds to start with, and it even got worse after all the singing! We had a sing-off in pairs of 4 songs each, and the pair with the lowest average score has to do a bottom’s up. Pairings: Acey & Ian, Me & TJ, Kristine & Archie, Jeaf & Nasseir (in order of final standing). Second place kami ni TJ! Haha. Our winning pieces: Never Gonna Let You Go, Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough, Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now, and I forgot the other one– or maybe we only did 3?! Pero basta it was super fun, everyone’s scores were in the 90’s range!

I hope this won’t be the last time I’ll hang out with these people at the office– though most likely it will be the last! I’ll be having my despedida early next year before I start work at Colgate-Palmolive so hope it’s gonna be as fun– and I hope I’ll have the same fun with my new officemates! :) In the meantime I’ll be maximizing my time with my MCC crowd while we’re still all together since it’s gonna be less convenient once I’m gone :( Last 2 days at the office next week!!!

Ay lav it!

Office Christmas party last Friday. 80’s theme. BADUY mode! I didn’t come as anyone but I came in a polka dot headband. LOL! I was one of the emcees with Ian and Jorge. My second time to emcee. I think I did pretty good also this time!

The highlight of the night: the departmental performances. Ok, I thought my department’s (MCC) performance was gonna be a super fail! Practice sucked and we were so lax about it. We sang “Carol of the Bells” and “Head Over Heels” by The Go-Go’s. Guess what– we won first place!!! 15K!!! Never would have expected it! Despite some major screw-ups in other aspects for the rest of the party, this totally made up for everything! Here’s the winning team in our “Carol of the Bells” glory…

We didn’t even have costumes and props like the others did. Oh, just imagine if we actually took this seriously. Haha!

In other news… I’ve already said this before. I have a crush at the office. Hahaha! I’m smiling from ear to ear!!! Now I’m sad that I’ve got 6 more days to go!!! :( I’ll miss my new friends! But hey, I’ll be gaining more once I get to C-P anyway.

Good times.